Above:
David by Bob Burkhardt
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Sunday, July 20, 2025
An Exercise in Fatality
A health and fitness franchiser who sells supplies to his franchisees at exorbitant prices murders one of them after the man discovers his criminal business practices.
As a lover of the male form, I have often seen images of actor Robert Conrad over the years. I've even posted quite a few, especially the many speedo shots from Conrad's time on Battle of the Network Stars. I haven't though, ever actually seen Conrad in an acting role, that is until a few weeks ago.
One of the retro channels was airing an old 1974 episode of Columbo featuring Conrad. The episode, titled An Exercise in Fatality, featured Conrad as what else, a health and fitness guru. I love watching old episodes of Columbo when they are, but if I were a murderer, or even a suspect, his badgering would annoy the shit out of me. That is his superpower however, wearing the guilty down with persistent visits and questions.
If you haven't seen the episode, there is about a 20 minute shirtless scene featuring Conrad. It begins on the beach where his character, Milo Janus, is coming out of the ocean after a swim. Columbo follows him and peppers him with questions as he does push-ups, boxes, walks back to his home and takes a quick dip in the pool. No matter how fast he walks, or how much he moves, Columbo is always on his tail.
If you have to follow a killer, Conrad's tail is a nice one to walk behind. The actor has that classic beefcake look with handsome face, and a thick chest. Given the scene was so long, it was clear the producers wanted to make the most of their guest star, keeping him shirtless for as long as possible.
Blue Skies & Hot Guys 🧺
Keep Calm and Picnic On!
They say that a lot of hot guys are just a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic. For me however, I'd rather skip the extra carbs and dine on a hot guy over a baggie with an old soggy sandwich. So... now that we've settled on our protein, lets get back to the original question, picnic table or blanket?
I think I'm a blanket guy all the way. It goes back to my childhood, when picnics, were a cheap and easy way for my parents to take us out. We didn't really have the money to go to restaurants very often, I think our family went out to eat a total of maybe a six or seven times total when I was kid. But my mother, who knew who to improvise without much money, could easily pack some PB and J's, fruit and some warmn Tang in a thermos.
Now we didn't have one of those fancy red and white checkered picnic blankets. I grew up in the eighties, so we had one of those red, tartan wool blankets. It was one of those multi-purpose blankets, it served as a spare blanket for beds, a beach blanket, and of course for our family picnics. It was always itchy, and had an odd smell. It also always seemed to always have sand on it, no matter how many times it was washed.
Still, there was something comforting about that old itchy blanket, something I miss. I wish I still had it. Whenever I see one, or even a picture, that plaid pattern and feel on my skin comes coming back. I so closely associate with my parents, and the many times I spent laying on it, with both my family, and in the backyard with friends. It went on every road trip, every vacation, and almost every trip to the lake or the beach.
Still... picnic tables have their place. We didn't own one, but I have fond memories of hanging out on picnic tables on many camping trips. I associate them with summer, and with fun. Dangling my feet over them when they didn't hit the ground. When I got older, we've often party at campgrounds, sneaking in beer and sitting on the picnic table near the camp fire.
Picnics are something inexpensive, that almost everyone can enjoy. Even Playgirl Magazine used the theme in several layouts over the years.
Dominic Volpe
December 1989
Joseph Perroni
March 1989
Now the real question.....
So, now that you've decided on where to plant your butt, here is the real question... Would you rather a picnic like the one above, or a quieter afternoon outside like the images below???
Casually Kinetic: David by Bob Burkhardt
'David was one of the most expressive and energetic models I've ever worked with.'
When I asked photographer Bob Burkhardt about his favorite visuals from his work with David, the red robe wasn't the only theme on the list. He also mentioned the sailor hat David work in part of the shoot, and of course his incredible face. As I do with most of the shoots I feature, my final choices often come down to the face.
Body position and pose are of course important, but even in images with an imperfect pose, great lighting, and giving good face can ameliorate almost any visual. Even without much modeling experience, it's obvious David knew this well, and Bob certainly knew it as well.
In the almost 500 images Bob sent on, there were dozens of face shots, more than I remember from the dozens of previous shoots that Bob has sent on. So many stunning face and headshots, it was painful trying to narrow them down and choose just a few to include in this piece.
David was open to all of Bob's suggestions and ideas, but did express being a little nervous about shooting full frontals, especially given this was his modeling debut. David had no issue posing fully nude and Bob was easily able to shoot continuedly without issue. It was easy given how creatively David worked with any fashion included included in the shoot.
After shooting in the studio, the bedroom, and throughout Bob's work space, David was eager to do more. He was excited to experiment with more creative concepts and ideas. If time had allowed, or a second shoot had been possible, David really was hoping to shoot on a motorcycle.
Some of my favorite images are this series with David wearing, and un-wearing the pareo he brought along. The pareo, or sarong, is a long piece of fabric worn as clothing, often by both men and women in the Dominican Republic, where David's family is from. The cultural connection can also be seen through many of David's poses, some look almost like dance movements.
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