'You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?'
Seinfeld
There are many universal rights of passage we all go through growing up. Puberty is difficult on almost everyone, but for LBQTQ kids, it can often be a nightmare. Things such as developing a deeper voice or growing pubic hair, although welcomed by many, are scary as shit to other. Along with these physical changes also comes the much needed skill to creatively hide. Hiding who you are isn't easy, it takes work, but for so many, it's sadly still a necessity.
For me, this included sneaking down to the rec-room to re-watch, (and re-watch) that nude scene you saw on the Blockbuster video you viewed earlier with your family. The first viewing required pretending not to notice Patrick Swayze's incredible ass. Re-watching meant being able to actually enjoy and savor it. Hiding your Judy Blume books, your shirtless pin-ups of your favorite teen idols, and of course, hiding the fact that you sneak into your parents bedroom when you're the only one in the house.
I applaud and fully respect everyone's fashion choices, but I was never really drawn to wearing make-up or women's clothing. I did however, go through quite a phase when I was really loving trying on my mother's jewelry, her wigs and maybe especially, her shoes. I think most of you can relate, and also remember the experience of sneaking into your parents bedroom when home alone, and experimenting with your identity. It was equally thrilling and terrifying, given the risk you could, at any minute, get caught.
I know I headed ack down the hall every few minutes, looking down the stairs at the front door for any sign someone was coming back home. I think I was actually more worried my brothers might discover me than I was of my parents. I was almost caught several times, but as far as I know, remained undetected. Who knows though, even at the age of nine and ten, I was a tall kid with large feet and I always had to stretch those straps on my mother's wedges in order to squeeze them on.
Part of the experience also included checking out my mother's underwear. It wasn't sexual, it was curiosity and of course research. LGBTQ kids are required to do extensive research on their own, research on subjects most other kids are taught naturally.
Like so many kids growing up in the 1980's, my underwear consisted only of bags of briefs from Hanes or Fruit of the Loom. Whichever were on sale when Mom went to K-Mart or Sears is what I got, usually at Christmas. Multi-colored, all white, sometimes all blue or black. I remember being fascinated by the material of my mother's underwear and how soft and silky it was. Even as a kid, I felt a little odd trying on my mom's panties, but I did a few times, just enough to learn to love the way it felt against my skin.
These shots of Jessie by TR Pics took me right back to those days. Tom from TR Pics has become a traditional part of celebrating holidays on FH and is images of Jessie posing with a bouquet of sunflowers also appeared to brighten things up last Mother's Day. (HERE:) Now full disclosure, the lacy thong Jessie is sporting is not actually women's undies, but a male g-string Tom found on Amazon. It's clear however, the design is based on panties we traditionally used to think of for women. It's nice that as men, we're now able to openly buy what once we had to sneak to try on.
I haven't thought about those days, sneaking into my parents bedroom in a long time, but this series from Tom took me right back. The memories are a mix of difficult, yet pleasant and even pleasurable moments from my past. They embrace memories of my mother, her influence on my life, and some of the experiences of growing into who I am today. I haven't worn women's panties since I was a kid, but these images are inspiring me head to Amazon and put something lay in my cart! Thanks Tom and Jessie!
No comments:
Post a Comment