When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you!
No, this post isn't about any mother fetish, or the sexualization of our own mothers. It began with my love of vintage cfnm imagery, but also my experience with other people's mother. I had a good mother that I loved very much, but she was my mother. My mother also wasn't especially loving, at least not outwardly, and some of my most intense childhood experiences with maternal figures emotions came from the mothers of my friends.
Mothers, regardless of whether their our own, have the ability to bring to light feelings and emotions like no other. Feelings of safety and pride for sure, but also feelings of guilt, remorse, embarrassment and shame. They are the women who's attributes we either look for, or run from in all our other relationships with women.
I had three 'other' mothers growing up. The first was a teacher, and the mother of my best friend in grade school. This mother was a sex bomb, and one who stood out from the older, more conservative female teachers in our school. At the time, I thought I loved her, but looking back, it was her style, her look, her power, that I was really attracted to. Her son hated the attention she received, and was especially uncomfortable with comments about how hot she was.
Everything I loved about her, he hated, something most of us have experienced. My mother was strong, but stern, but my friends loved her. I hate remembering how much I disliked and was embarrassed with how my mother interacted with my friends. It fascinating that the second maternal figure in my life, the mother of a female friend I had in junior high was loved by myself, and so many others, something her daughter really hated.
This mother was the 'friend' to all her daughter's friends. We hung out at her house, more to be with her her than her daughter. She bought us junk food, and had the fridge stocked with pop and junk to encourage our visits. She was also more than a little suggestive, and liked to talk to the boys about sex and their bodies, and encouraged things like mooning and streaking. Her husband, a large older man, also hated our hanging out at his house, and usually arrived from work, took a look at us, and headed upstairs to be alone.
Mom's Night Out!
She was obviously looking for something, not hard now to figure out. Things took a turn one night when we were all in the backyard partying. She took a few shots of a group of guys mooning, and when the images came back. (at that time, they needed to be devolved) they showed a bit more than just a full moon, but some danglers between the legs. She found it funny to show the images to everyone who came over, and a couple of the guys told their parents. Things took a turn, and most of us stopped hanging out there. She was reserved when I'd see her out in public or at a school function, but her daughter, loved the change.
The third woman who I considered a mother figure was actually the mother of my high school girlfriend. We were together quite awhile, and I spent a lot of time at there home. Dinners, holidays, special occasions, even family vacations. I felt a part of their family, one who liked to have more fun than my own.
When my girlfriend and I eventually, and inevitably, broke up, I missed hanging out at her home, and her family more than I missed being with her. It was her mother, that actually consoled me after the break-up, and promised that we'd remain close. We didn't, I went back to their home a few times over the years, but it was never the same. I never again felt 'motherly' feelings from her mother, she couldn't really, the reason for our connection was severed. These three women, like all mothers, were never really meant to be in our lives forever, but like all mothers, or mother figures, had an important purpose and their voices, remain in our heads long after we last actually heard them.