Saturday, July 25, 2015


I have had the image above saved for awhile, never knowing exactly what to do with it. A teen mag parody by artist, get this, Hairy Bush, like most parody's there is more truth in it's depiction than most in the teen magazine industry might care to admit. Throughout the last few decades, prior to the Internet, entertainment magazines thrived. Teen magazines, supposedly for the consumption of teen girls, made teen idols out almost any young actor willing to take off his shirt. Actors who barely made a dent in the entertainment industry, or who were one hit wonders, were able to stretch their 15 minutes of fame by writing love columns and posing for pin-ups for Tiger Beat, Teen Beat, Pop, Bop, Superteen or the dozens of other monthly's that hit the stands.

Johnny Depp

During the late 80's and early 90's I devoured these magazines, barely reading a word, just flipping through page after page of shirtless hunks. I lusted after Richard Greico, Joey Lawerence, Justin Timberlake, Andrew Keegan, Ryan Phillippe and so many others. Thanks to e-bay, I also spent a fair amount of change buying older issues to get my fill of Christopher Atkins, Peter Barton and Michael Biehn. I was always fascinated by the celebrities like Leif Garrett who filled so many pages even though they weren't really that famous outside of the Tiger Beat universe.

Jason Momoa

What was also interesting, more so looking back, is the amount out of sexually provocative images that made the magazine's final edits. It was clear some of the image were aimed beyond the heads of the 13 year old curly haired girls, and shot for a broader... meaning older women and gay male audience. Some of the lip licking, nipple touching, unbuttoned pants and fingers looming just under the waist of their far too tight jeans would today, be considered inappropriate for their targeted audience. As the decades went by, the images tamed somewhat, but during the 60's, 70's 80's and 90's, some of the images were verging not so subtly, on the erotic side.

Esai Morales
Great pose Esai....

Bruce Penhall
A Bruce Bulge

River Phoenix
Between his thumb in his belt loop, the quivering lips and the 'come hither' look, the late River Phoenix was a natural in front of the lens.

You have to wonder who suggested Menudo get shirtless and put paint all over their bodies for a shoot.  Could it have been Ricky?

One Direction: Niall Horan tops Harry Styles

If you're in a boy band, you can bet some PR person is going to try to get you all shirtless and suggest you all get wet and frolic and wrestle in a pool.

New Kids On The Block

The Osmonds

Yes, believe it or not, even the Osmonds got photographed shirtless and wet.  I was surprised as you were (weren't you) to find the image above.  The images below of Donny with Jay, and especially the one with brother Jimmy are beyond hilarious.

Donny with Jay & Jimmy

Leif Garrett
Leif Garrett always seemed prematurely  sexualized no matter what pose he took on.   It is hard to believe his management team didn't deliberately exploit that.

John Schneider            
Bo's bulge (whether real (l) or fake (r) was often the focus of his pin-up poses.  You have to wonder if John had to prepare or move his package during his shoots to ensure it was prominent and in focus...

Rex Smith and Rick Springfield
Rex Smith bulges in Leather and Rick Springfield just wants to cuddle.

Matthew and Patrick Labyorteaux

The Labyorteaux brothers had some of the most provocative, and odd,  images to grace the inside pages. Some of the shots I found I wasn't comfortable even including. Although both are cute as a button, the sexualization of the young brothers (long before anyone heard of the Carlson's) was at times down right creepy. The speedo shot below somehow seems tamer than the crop top/jean image above...

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