Friday, February 6, 2015

Kudos to Out

'I don’t think answering who I’m sleeping with accomplishes anything other than quenching the thirst of curiosity.'

I love Jack Falahee and I especiall love his quote in the Spring Fashion issue of OUT Magazine. I know there was a time when itwas important for celebrities to come out, but I hope have evolved to a place where coming out isn't as important as actually living out. Some are still so invested in people self defining, but that labelling has become tired, and more about those who want it than the person themselves. Living one's own truth is what it's all about, not giving it a name so some journalist or reporter has an adjective to stick in front their story. Bravo Jack!

Bravo also to Mariano Vivanco whose sizzling shots of one of my favorite models Parker Gregory are simply, incredible!

We can thank Mariano's Twitter for this shot!


Mycenaeus said...

Living out should be more important than coming out, but in order to live out you have to come out.

Living out means doing things like going to the market with your partner and possibly even holding hands in public where others might see. A simple gesture that heterosexual partners do all the time.

In a world where camera phones are the norm, public figures get photographed taking their kids to school, and who is dating who is considered newsworthy, it seems like the best policy would be honesty when asked that question. It's an annoying question to be sure, but it's one that will only ever be asked once if you give a straightforward and honest answer.

TyeBriggs said...


Having to come out to live out may have been true years ago, but it is now sort of 'old school'. You don't have to announce to anyone your a vegetarian? You just simply don't eat meat. People will see, people will know, people will accept or not. It is only when we resist having to announce something that no other group of people have to. True acceptance occurs, and that begins with us.

People love to stick 'gay' in front of people but the goal should be to refuse definition by any adjective. These adjectives allow separations differences and bigotry.

It has nothing to do with hiding being gay, it has to do with it not being a factor legally, with rights or in any other way.

Mycenaeus said...

Is it realistic to expect to defy definition by any adjective? And is that really the goal?

Adjectives aren't all bad. Some of them we actually want. Some of them we feel bad about or ashamed of when we really shouldn't. Black. Female. Gay.

Perhaps you are correct, and none of it matters. Perhaps we are living in a post-racial, post-feminist, post homophobic world. We aren't though, and I think you know this. Perhaps what you meant was that YOU are past it, for YOU it's old-school, because YOU learned self-acceptance a long time ago. That is good. Did you get there in a vacuum?

The real goal is not to get to a place where labels don't exist, but where your label doesn't get you discriminated against. And the way we get there is by acknowledging the label, accepting the label, sometimes celebrating the label, but mostly by succeeding brilliantly in spite of it for the world to see.

Black people and women don't really have a choice. Race and gender are mostly self-evident, so there is no choice but to accept it and try to succeed. But sexuality, though just as innate, is not necessarily self-evident, hence the pesky question that no one else has to answer. I suppose your counter is that gay people can accept it and be successful without acknowledging it. We should do a kind of don't ask, don't tell. But I don't think "don't ask, don't tell" moves us any further to the future you seem to want (possibly the contrary).

TyeBriggs said...

I reiterate my applause to Jack and his quote.

Coming Out has become far less about the person coming out and more about the needs and wants of those who hear the declaration, that 'quenching that thirst'.

Declaring how one feels, about oneself, one's sexuality, anything really, is really one's own personal choice and I respect however anyone chooses to, or not to, express it.