Drawn to the Damaged: Jacob Elordi as Nate Jacobs

'At night, I fall asleep to you, and in the morning, I wake up to you. I kind of feel closer to you than I do anyone in the world.'

Nate Jacobs

Nate Jacobs is one of the coldest, cruelest sociopaths on television.  He's also one of the most realistically drawn characters on the show.  I know, as I had a 'Nate' in my life, and the show's writer, and Jacob Elordi's portrayal are spot on.

I crushed over Jacob after seeing him as the resident hottie in the teen romance The Kissing Booth.  This made seeing his turn as Nate, all that more impressive.  Nate, and Jacob, have everything on the surface many are so drawn to.  Great looks, hot body, star athlete.  Nate's the hot  jock, blessed with privileged and popularity.  Nate's also incredibly damaged, sexually screwed up and primed and desperate to deal with his pain by inflicting it those around him, especially those attracted to him.

My 'Nate' was a also sexually confused.  He defined himself as straight, and always had a girlfriend to mistreat and cheat on, but also willing and able to use his body with men if it got him something he wanted.  He had boundaries of course, you've heard them before, no kissing, and he's not doing that!  But he'd let you have a little fun down there if wanted something.  When it was over, and he got what he wanted, (usually some cash or to borrow my car) he was out of there, usually with a threat never to say anything about what just happened.

Euphoria 

For a short while in my twenties, I was drawn to the damage.  I thought I could help him, thought he needed a friend, someone to trust.  In the end, I understood I was using him as much as he was using me.  Having the hot jock spend the night at my house, in my bed, was a high, even though I had to give up so much for the privilege.

My 'Nate' treated me like gold for about six months before it went down hill.  When I started saying no, it got ugly.  Although he never physically struck out at me, he kicked in a few doors in my house, dented the side of my car, and cost me quite a bit to fix the holes in the walls he punched in when angry.    I didn't put up with it for long, and although it was a bit of a slow process, realized I was better off with him out of (or at least more distant) from my life.

The interesting thing about 'Nate's' is how much you can miss the drama and the high.  When Nate was staying with me, I couldn't wait for him to leave.  When he left, I longed for his return.  Even though he's been out of my life for a very long time, I still sometimes miss that period of my life.  I would NEVER ever want to repeat it, or every let him back in, but even those moment of missing, speak to how dangerous 'Nate's' can be.

I was a fairly mature guy in my late twenties when my 'Nate' briefly came into my life.  I can't imagine how I handle him if he entered my life when I was 15 or 16 years old, especially if I didn't have a strong support system of family and friends.  I think many of us have had 'Nate's' in our lives, some briefly, some, for longer periods of time.  They one good thing about having endured one, is how keenly it teaches us to see one.  Today, I can spot a 'Nate' a mile away, and have learned how to keep them at a distance from the get go.

So as hated as the character of Nate may be, I still find him fascinating to watch, especially in the capable hands of Jacob Elordi.  Given how much I wrote about Nate, I thought it would help mentally separate actor from character by featuring a few images from a couple of Jacob's other projects.

Swinging Safari (2018)

The Kissing Booth (2018)