We've all been to parties on New Years that we'd just as soon regret. We do things on December 31st we wouldn't think of doing any other time of the year. From my personal experiences, and my personal embarrassments, I've come up with a few tips to survive the dreaded, but sometimes unavoidable, New Year's Eve Party.
Despite still dealing with Christmas turkey bloat, you convince yourself this is the last time you'll pig out this year. Alcohol certainly helps implant this believe that can lead to embarrassing moments during the party. My suggestion is not wear anything too tight or form fitting to cause you to be uncomfortable on the last night of the year. Stylishly naked is the way to go, a formal collar and bow tie is all you need to stay comfortable yet still look dressed up.
Unless you're a professional entertainer like JayK, (pictured) stay in your damned chair! Most of us can't work a genital balloon bouquet the way JayK can, so don't even try. You'll make a fool of yourself on the dance floor and they'll be loads of pictures to remind you.
I know, I know, after a few drinks you'll be tempted to get up and choose Aqua's Barbie Girl as your karaoke song choice, but know right now, it won't be well received. This leads us to #3, bring along a designated downer. Yes, you need a wet blanket on hand to pull the fire alarm, yank the plug on the karaoke machine or pull focus by doing something even more outrageous than what you had planned. It may be hard to find a friend to do this task, so you may have to hire someone, but trust me, you won't be sorry.
Now Malik looks like he can handle his alcohol, but with free drinks and champagne fountains, not everyone is so well equipped and gifted. On top of the two glasses of wine you had at dinner, the six glasses of champagne, and the shots you lost count of, good decision making is not really an option.
My trick, timed moderation is really the key. You can't be expected to monitor your alcohol the entire night, so pick just an hour to be diligent. So.... drink that wine with dinner, but then sober up before arriving at the party. Then, between 9pm and 10pm, stick to water or soft drinks. Then, at 10, make a quick exit, take a cab or uber home, and then drink our face off ringing the New Year in safely under your own roof.
#5 Don't Overstay your welcome
If you didn't listen to #4 and take an early exit, make sure you leave with 30 minutes of the midnight hour. If you don't, when you head to that back bedroom to get your winter coat, you're likely find this, or some other unexpected sight on the bed instead of your coat. If you ignored all of my tips, then you're likely to be this guy on the bed... If you want to be the guy on the bed, well the hell with you, these tips clearly weren't for you.
#6 Mingle, laugh and have fun!
Although my tips are ensure a successful party experience, if you're too regimented, and overthink overthink them, you're likely to have a party experience like the guy in the image above. Makes sure that in-between all of that not eating, not drinking, not dancing, not singing karaoke, arriving late and leaving early, you stop to mingle, and like the guys below, have a little fun. Or.. better yet, this year, order some Chinese food, have a glass of wine and do I like I'm going to and stay the hell home!
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