Razor Edged

'Anyone can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.'

Every father's day, I feel the need to note my struggle with images featuring family members posing nude together.  The relationship between the models, isn't what's problematic.  It could be brothers, twins, mothers and daughters or fathers and sons. My issue is with the photographs who choose to sexualize it.

As someone whose education was focused on phycology, and as someone who works with children and families, I find nothing remotely appealing about sexualizing the relationship between siblings and parents with their sons or daughters.  All that aside, I do find images of two family members together, shot in a non-sexual way, to be incredibly sensual and incredibly fascinating. 

Great imagery can be sensual and sexy without being sexual.  Many of the shots of the Carlson Twins come to mind. There is an intrinsic element of eroticism just seeing two brothers posing naked together.   One of the things I like best is the visual comparison we all do naturally when seeing two family members together.  Checking out the visual similarities and differences with body shapes, hair color, their eyes, their style and how they move. 

There is also the erotic element of vulnerability and risk.  Most of us, past a certain age, don't see our family members nude.   At the same time, when a dad poses nude with his son, the images are not only seen by the public, they'll no doubt be examined by all the other members of the family. 

Although I don't support sexual or incestual themes in images of family members, I certainly see the connection with sexual health and sexual growth.  For almost all of us, the naked bodies of our family members were the first we saw when we were young.  I shared a room with my younger brother, and often saw him nude.  I saw caught quick glimpse of both of my parents running to their rooms after a bath or shower.

When we're young, seeing an adult nude body is at first confusing, but then becomes the example and a basis for comparison of what we may look like one day.  All that aside, I like to have a bit of fun with father's day on FH.  Sure, there's the easy 'daddy' theme, with young guys hooking up with older guys, with no family or biological connection.

But I also love to celebrate fathers.  I don't necessarily mean the man whose sperm connects with an egg.  I like to celebrate the men who love, teach and raise their children, and the many men who are mentors and positive role models.  There are so few positive male role models these days, fewer than in the past.  Maybe it's the internet, but it's hard to list many politicians, sports heroes or celebrities without now also knowing their dark side.

There are still may positive role models out there however, but you have to look to find them.  I've had several in my own life, and know ho fortunate that my own father was high on that list.  My dad was kind and non-judgmental.  He sometimes leaned towards being passive, but I appreciated how gentle he was with everyone.  Family members, friends or strangers, he was always open and welcoming.  I took on many of his qualities, not all, but some and I'm grateful to have had him in my life for so long.