'I've got a good mother
and her voice is what keeps me here'
Jann Arden
When I was University, I remember one of my Psychology professors telling us that a parent's primary job was to put their voice in our heads. He encouraged mothers and fathers to talk to their children constantly, filling their heads with stories and lessons. The goal, that long after they're gone, when we're trying to make a decision, when we're scared, in crisis, or just feeling alone, their voice would be there to guide and comfort.
Remaining artwork by Achillias
A good parent nags enough, yells enough, annoys you enough to ensure their voices remain. It is that voice that helps you treat others well, it is that voice that helps you make good choices, it is that voice that makes you feel safe and loved. A good mother does this, even if at times during your life. it annoys the shit of you and you hate her for it.
I've always remembered that, and know from my own experience how true it is. Although my mother is gone, her voice runs through my head at the oddest of times. I hear her voice at the strangest times. Her asking if I 'really need that', when I'm about to buy something I don't need, or her praising my efforts and creativity. I got good grades in school, not great, so my mother learned that praising my efforts did so much more than praising the results.
I know not all kids are blessed to have positive voices in their heads. Some of have horrible messages they don't want to keep, but get out of their heads. I remember a friend I knew from high school who had a mother who constantly belittled them. His mother even had him posing nude for a 'bohemian' group of artists when he was still in school. The art close he laughed at and shook off, he liked the money he was paid. The words from his mother however, he found harder to get past. Even back then, our friendship group spent so much time when we were with him, trying undo and rewrite the messages being implanted by his mother.
On this Mother's Day, whether you have or had a loving caring mother, or a mother who imprint messages of fear or self-doubt, I hope you've all found a positive voice. In this world today, we need those messages more than ever to remember and hold on to. I never thought much about those voices until after my mother died. As much as I love celebrating holidays on FH, I never really celebrated Mother's Day on the site until after my mother died. The power of the voice. Thanks to Achillias and badsign769 for the original artwork!
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