Value Pack:

'When you stop believing in Santa... You get underwear.'

Truth of the matter is, even when you did believe in the gift giver from the North Pole, you still got underwear.   Underwear was always one the most complicated gifts to open.  Most years, you didn't want it, yet you also knew you needed it.  We'd all rush to the tree on Christmas morning and start tearing open our gifts.

It was easy to spot which gift was underwear by the size and the weight.  Usually, it was tossed aside unopened until your mother reminded you later you had 'one more gift to open.'  Some years, you parents got tricky, and put it in a box, or weighted it down.  Still, most years, those 3 or 5 pair value packed were easy to spot.

No matter what your age, or what decade you grew up in, it was a trick open.  Often, you were surrounded by relatives, and expected to be happy and grateful of every gift.  Heaven forbid you weren't appropriately appreciative of your knew Fruit of the Loom briefs.  There was always an aunt to remind you how lucky you were, and added tales of getting just an orange for Christmas when they were your age.

There was also a trajectory to Christmas underwear opening.  Although it wasn't a huge deal opening your briefs as little kid, as you got older, it became a bit embarrassing opening your new undies in front of grandparents and older relatives.  Usually my older brother would smirk, trying to get me to laugh.  This of course was followed by a wave of disapproving looks from relatives. 

Then of course was that awkward period.  The time when you hit about 15 or 16.  This was the time underwear went from something you needed, to something you wanted.  It was now a time where wearing 'cool' underwear was important.  Other guys would see it in locker room, and guys and girls you had crushes on, might see the waist band when you bent over in class.  Sometimes, showing off the waistband was both purposeful, and part of the mating ritual of being a horny Jr. high student.

A year or two later, you started both giving, and receiving underwear from a boy or girlfriend for the fist time.  For me, in high school, it was a girlfriend.   This phase was really one of the only times in life your really look forward to opening underwear at Christmas.  But... and it's a big but, these undie gits were never given or opened with the family.  They were also never put under the tree.  They were given in private gift giving sessions with your significant other.

These undies were kept secret, taken home in a bag and shoved into the back of your underwear drawer.  These undies you loved, you worshipped, and on special occasions, meaning every time you with the person who gave them to you.  Despite being a 'secret gift', somehow your mother always found out.  She knew EVERYTHING that was in your drawers, and always made a point of asking where 'those' came from after she discovered them.  Of course this wasn't asked in private, but usually over the dinner table so your siblings could hear and give you a hard time.

Receiving underwear at Christmas has gotten even more difficult the last few decades.  Although we all knew underwear was erotic, we knew there was a reason we snuck the Sears catalog in our rooms.  It wasn't really however until the 90's, that advertisers really got open about selling underwear with sex. Sure, in some ways it was always connected, but it far more blatant with Calvin Klein, and all those male model and celebrity bulges to draw your eye.

Though I'm not a kid anymore, a great underwear ad, and a hot shot of a guy in undies still gets me going.  Many of us remember getting a little stiff looking at the packages in the underwear section at  our favorite store.  I used to make up excuses to leave whatever adult I was with to take yet another stroll by that isle.  Recently, I discovered a Twitter page, and the images were incredibly hot.   Check out some of my favorites on the NEXT PAGE HERE: