Clay Aiken

"Time is what prevents everything from happening at once."
~John Archibald Wheeler



I was a big Clay fan during his time on American Idol. Something about his voice gave me goose bumps. His power on songs like Solitaire, Unchained Melody and others made him my favorite. From the get go I thought ‘This guy is gay’, I am sure many or most of you did, but I really did not care. Is not that what we want from society, for people really not to care?

I lost my interest in Clay shortly after Idol ended. Nothing to do with his sexuality, but more to do with the rather snobbish and ‘pissed off’ attitude I perceived him to present when I saw him in interviews and when I saw clips of how he treated others around him. I never lost my interest in hearing him sing though and when it comes right down to it he is a singer.

Clay has ‘come out’ this week and I say good for him. Yes there are many female fans I am sure who are disappointed, and rightly so. Clay in some ways played with them over the past several years, but at the same time he gave them something they obviously needed in their lives, an unfulfilled crush. Most people have these in their teens, but some carry them to adulthood. No one ever expected Clay to actually one day be with them, but most did expect that he would allow them to keep the possibility alive. This ended yesterday.

Coming out is such a personal thing. When and if you come out is so dependent on who and what your support system is, your friends, family, community and the location you live in. Your job, your inner fears. I loath gay people who cut down other gay men for not coming out. Personally I did not come out until my 20's and I remember many times feeling gut wrenching fear of being ‘found out’ prior to my coming out.

Sites like Perez Hilton make me sick by outing and making fun of closeted celebrities. He took such glee in taunting Clay over the years and other celebrities who have not come out yet. With Clay he was right, with others he may or may not be. All I can think is that I am certainly glad blogs and Perez were not around to the degree they are now when I came out. All I can think of when I read something about him outting some guy is the fear he is causing. Makes me sad. Gays who slam other gays for whatever decision they make as far as coming out should lose their membership card. Yes, we all wish we lived in a world where coming out just naturally happened when we were 5 or 6 years old with the loving support of our family and friends. But...that is not most peoples reality. Until that day arrives, all we can do is understand and support each other. Sometimes it takes someone years to lose weight, quit smoking, become a nicer person, or any other change we wish to make. Big changes are never easy, and coming out is one of the biggest. While most are screaming ‘It’s about time’, I merely say to Clay, “Welcome.”